Mourning the loss

Many of you have asked questions that I haven't been sending out via our regular adoption update...

For those of you who do not know, I am in graduate school to acquire my Nurse Practitioner credentials. I am excited about working in this role at the clinic where I am currently employed. I think it will be exciting as well as challenging. Going to school through an online program for nursing is interesting. In many ways it is more challenging than a classroom. There is no immediate feedback, which makes me more motivated to investigate the answers to many of my own questions. That can be time consuming and rewarding at the same time. The amount of reading is enormous. I have been taking classes for about eight months. Jamie has been so supportive of all this entails. I do most of the work after the boys go to bed so it doesn't affect them very much. The biggest problem is getting information to stick to my jell-o brain after 8pm! Pray for me. My next class is called "Scientific Inquiry" I think the reading may be a little dry for that time of night...

Also, we get inquiries as to the girls' well being and anticipated arrival time. We know better than to assume any kind of timeline with Haiti, but our paperwork was going through so smoothly that we got a little bit excited. There had been a log-jam of sorts in the office of Ministry of Interior over the last year. This is the nearly the last step when adopting through Haiti. The log-jam had been "pushed out" for lack of a better term just before our paperwork was to enter. This got us excitedly thinking we may be traveling to pick our girls up in the early part of 2008. 

I began allowing myself to become emotionally attached to the girls in the last couple of months. Instead of being excited about the idea of adopting them I became excited about adopting these girls, that they would be MY girls. A couple of weeks ago we got the news that MOI was still taking three to four months to process paperwork. We had only been in for a month and a half or so. (I actually found out that one of our girls' office hasn't even made it to this office yet...) My hopes for traveling in January were dashed. I sank into depression. I was going through the motions, but the tears have been just behind my eyes at all times for the last couple of weeks. I have not felt a disappointment like this since my brother died years ago, and I haven't even lost them. It makes no sense to me that we have already legally adopted these girls. They even have our last name and yet we have no authority to go get them. My mind is aware that God has his perfect timing. I'm not trying to second guess that timing. God has proven his best interest for us over and over. I just cannot understand it. This is one of the things that makes God so awesome and us so frail and weak. We have to rely on Him and trust Him when things don't make sense. Anyway, it has been nearly unbearable to talk about or write about. I have now decided if we travel anytime before August I will consider it a blessing. Expect difficulties and anything less will be a blessing. 

Please pray for my stamina in school. I was looking forward to a six month leave. Pray that I continue to enjoy the amazing boys the Lord has blessed me with now. Pray that my heart would be content with the Lord's decision of "not quite yet." Pray for Jamie as he gets the brunt of most all of this and is ever so patient with me. Pray that the boys would understand what it means to wait patiently. Pray that the paperwork moves quickly and without further delay. Pray for my relationships with other adoptive parents to develop so I may be more prepared for the things to come. Please pray for anything else that moves you. 

With Love,

Vanessa

Our Children and Christmas

The whole family sure enjoyed Christmas. We had a relaxed celebration and there were no toys with 100 pieces included! We also had no toys labeled "some assembly required." There were lots of books and games and very few things that require batteries.  You'll see both of them sporting new short hair cuts. Don't they look so handsome? 

For decorating the tree this year we had each person hang an ornament and recite something they were thankful for. It was a precious time. Josiah wanted me to know that "...some people have trees that start on the floor of their houses and go all the way  up." I pretty much told him we just didn't have the room for that. He pretty much didn't like that answer...

                       

These are our December update photos of the girls. Geslande is on the left and Joravena is below. They are growing so fast! Sometimes the update phoso make them look sad, but we are positive they are not. It is not customary to smile photos in the Haitian culture. We are blessed to see what looks like an emerging giggle on Geslande's face this month. Joravena looks a bit tired in this month's photo.

Festivest Sweater in the Universe

Festive you say? A festive sweater competition? Did you say competition? My husband isn't competitive is he? Two days, fifteen pounds and about five hours of labor later...we have the festivest sweater ever, complete with festive puppet hands, three strings of twinkle lights, ribbons, garland, wreaths, poinsettias, ornaments, a stocking and some kisses (the chocolate kind for everyone but his wife.) The only thing missing was a partridge in a pear treee...what is a partridge anyway?  Well, needless to say he won this Christmas party competition as well. We won a neat little digital camera! Most of all we had fun. Jamie is good for me. He teaches me it is good to loosen up and have fun. He gets me outside my comfort zone. I love him for this and so many other reasons. Did I mention his middle name is Goofy?

Over the top at the least!

For Vanessa's Christmas party we were supposed to dress up in a 1950's theme. There was a contest for the best costumes. We knew there would be some pretty tough competition, so our own personal theme for the night was "over the top."  Jamie was amazing and agreed to dress up as Marilyn Monroe...complete with blond wig, halter top dress and fake eyelashes. Oh, and don't forget the strappy high sandals. I was supposed to dress as Joe DiMaggio, but at the last minute the costume fell through. We had to get creative. I found a JFK mask at a costume store. Although there was no known connection between JFK until after his election to president we decided to roll with it. We researched original senate re-election propaganda and passed it out at the party. It was a hoot! Everyone had fun and we won a gift certificate for some time at the coast...definitely worth it!

If you look close you can seek JFK's authentic campaign re-election to senate campaign propaganda on our sign! If you look even closer you can see red polish on Marilyn's fingers and toes!

First Faces

We have put off sending photos of us to our girls in Haiti because it was something we were just going to "get around to." Well, we are nearing the end of our process so we made little plastic coated books to zip-tie into their cribs. Here are a few of the photos included. We will label them in creole. Mama and Papa are the same words, brothers will be labeled "Fre" pronounced fway. Sisters will be labeled "Se" pronounced say. We hope these first images are imprinted on their hearts and we will be received well.

One very scary little monster....

one very scary terantula!

Our good friend, Nadeen, and her oh-so-adorable daughter Noelanie (Elijah's fiance) came to trick-or-treat with us. Let me tell you...that girl got the loot! No one could say no to such an adorable face!

(OK, so I just figured out I can put more than one picture on a posting....I told you I'm just learning!)

They look a little frightened already huh? It is always so hard to get them to hold still before we go trick-or-treating. My Halloween pictures never do our costumes justice. They can't wait to get out the door and they are so tired and wilted by the time they get home that we take what we get.

Spooooooooky aren't they?

Josiah too was a super scooper!

It didn't take long for him to change his mind!

Elijah thought scooping out the guts of the pumpkin would be pretty disgusting.

Fall Rituals

We headed up to Seattle for our 12th annual pumpkin carving party. We spent time with great friends. We love this annual trek up north. It is so fun to see all of our families changing. We started out as a few college friends. We could now take over a McDonalds easy!

Look out world here we come

It has come to my attention that we are hopelessly behind in this world. When we ask friends how things are going we often get responses like, "Have you checked the blog lately?" and "Let me think what I've posted to our blog..." I have been resistant to starting a blog. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe it is just one more responsibility that will rest on our shoulders. Regardless, people seem to have fun doing it so we thought we would give it a try...Bear with us as we get started. We have no idea what we are doin.